Never take seriously religion, sex, politics or 97 percent of the stuff your friends post to Facebook, Granddaddy used to say. That leaves broccoli salad. And I do take broccoli salad seriously.
Not naked broccoli. Raw broccoli on a relish tray is about as appealing as Donald Trump in a Speedo --- even with a good dip. But broccoli salad --- that's something else.
There are only two broccoli salad rules --- it must contain bacon and cashews and it mustn't squeak. Sliced bulk bacon from the meat case is helpful.
Florets from three large heads of broccoli (blanched)
6 green onions (thinly sliced)
3/4 cup raisins
3/4 cup cashews
6-7 slices bacon (roasted)
1 cup mayonnaise (or Miracle Whip if you like it)
1 heaping tablespoon sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons cider vinegar.
1. Blanch broccoli in boiling water 2 to 3 minutes, then cool in a colander under cold running water or dump into ice water to stop the cooking process and drain.
2. Roast the bacon --- 425-degree oven, about 15 minutes, spread in single layer on a shallow foil-lined pan that has been topped by parchment paper. Then allow to cool and cut or break into pieces.
3. Combine broccoli, onions, raisins, cashews and bacon.
4. Mix dressing ingredients --- then dress the salad. Allow to stand for at least an hour for flavors to merge.
About the napkin used as a prop --- hand-embroidered with crochet edging. My mother used to do this sort of thing because she found it relaxing. All of the current presidential contenders without regard to gender or gender identity should learn to embroider or crochet. It would calm them --- and the rest of us in the process.