OK, for those who have been concerned about my sanity as the lyrics for a song about a concrete Jesus bounced around in my head without a source, without a clue as to who wrote or performed it and where among the gazillion CDs scattered from one end of the state to the other it might be, I present "800 Pound Jesus." I thought John Prine, Naaa. Greg Brown? Naaa again. It just had to be a country song. And sure nuff: Sawyer Brown.
I saw a garage sale
Pulled up in the yard
Found a statue of Jesus
It was eight feet tall
He held out his arms
And he seemed all alone
So I loaded him up
And I drove him home
Out by my driveway he
Looks down the street
With long hair and sandals made
Of rebar and concrete
I painted him white with a long purple robe
He's a rock of ages on our gravel road
He's an eight hundred pound Jesus
Standing taller than a tree
He's an eight hundred pound Jesus
A bigger man than you or me
I thought loosin' my job was
The end of the world
'Til my best pal ran off with my best girl
I felt suicidal with no real friends
So I walked outside with a rope in my hand
Out by that statue there's a big oak tree
So I stood on his shoulders
And I counted to three
I had every intention of buying the farm
But when I jumped off
He caught me in his arms
He's an eight hundred pound Jesus
Standing taller than a tree
He's an eight hundred pound Jesus
A bigger man than you or me
I wanted to return the favor to him
'Cause I never had a more solid friend
So I planted some flowers
All around his feet
And I bought him a flock
Of ceramic sheep.
He's an eight hundred pound Jesus
Standing taller than a tree
He's an eight hundred pound Jesus
A bigger man than you or me
He's a bigger man than you or me.
Golly, that's a relief
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