Thursday, June 14, 2012

The case (?) against marriage equality

I've been following a little this week the hooting and hollering in England, where the House of Commons is poised to extend full civil marriage equality to same-sex couples. And the Church of England's hand-wringing response, labeling the move somewhat hysterically as one of the most serious threats to it in 500 years.

That may be a slight exaggeration. Regular church-goers in England currently form roughly six percent of the population, suggesting that there have been earlier difficulties.

The major concern this time seems to be the specter of disestablishment --- the C of E is the nation's official church and canon (church) law, because of that, also is national law --- including the church's traditional definition of marriage.

In the end, of course, when push comes to shove an established church will do what the government tells it to do --- as happened in Denmark recently when the government ordered its state owned and operated church to open all its buildings to same-sex marriages (in parishes where clerics object, a substitute cleric willing to perform must be found).

While reading one of the accounts of what's going on over there, in the online "Independent," I found this tongue-in-cheek ten-point case against marriage equality in the comments section. It's hardly original --- versions of it are all over. But it is kind of funny.

1. Being gay is not natural. Human beings always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2. Equal marriage rights will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will encourage people to be tall.

3. Legalizing same sex marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets. As we all know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license application.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, polygamy is still prevalent, blacks still can't marry whites and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if same sex marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Women should be allowed to marry and remain married only for so long as they are fertile; infertile people as well as old women should not be allowed to marry at all.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only ever raise straight children.

8, Same sex marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion.

9. Children can never succeed without both a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Same sex marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to automobiles, the service-sector economy, women in the workplace, longer life spans, etc., etc.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Least we not forget...that homosexuality is an illicit lust forbidden by God. He said to His people Israel, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination" (Leviticus 18:22). "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them" (Leviticus 20:13). In these passages homosexuality is condemned as a prime example of sin, a sexual perversion. The Christian can neither alter God's viewpoint nor depart from it.