Rick Perry, the Bachmanns & barbarians

Michele and Marcus Bachmann

Heat isn’t the only thing that’s intensifying out here in the land of corn --- so is speculation that Texas Gov. Praying Rick Perry will toss his Stetson into GOP presidential free-for-all. Gov. Terry says it’s likely and Praying Rick acknowledges that the call is getting stronger. He’s got that big prayer meeting set up for Houston on Aug. 6 --- what better time for Pentecostal flames to light the fuse? We’ll see.

I don’t think he’d have much trouble winning over Iowa Republicans --- and sending current front-runner Michele Bachmann scurrying back to Minneapolis. He’s slicker --- and he’s got a penis, still a major advantage in politics. No matter how enlightened we think we are, those not so equipped seem to have a terrible time moving out of the “little woman” role of vice-presidential candidate or, as in Iowa, lieutenant governor.

Maybe a Perry-Bachmann ticket? Who knows? Sarah Palin seems to have marginalized herself into well-deserved obscurity and while Bachmann at least seems sincere, there’s that worrisome shakiness in the areas of education, experience and the ability to pronounce such words as “chutzpah.”

But she’s certainly smarter than, say, Newt Gingrich --- and most likely more sincere than much of the rest of the field, perhaps including Gov. Perry. But he’s a heck of a lot slicker ---plus the penis factor.

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I’ve been feeling a little, but not too, sorry for the Bachmanns this week as aspiring first-spouse Marcus came in for a good deal of ridicule because he appears to have, in the eyes of some, a few slightly effeminate mannerisms and a light voice punctuated with a slight lisp.

That, combined with allegations he referred to LGBT people as “barbarians” in an interview at some point, has caused several folks who should know better to play the “looks-like” card and engage in a little Bachmann-o-phobia.

Not that I share any of Bachmann’s views --- he believes you can, as they say, “pray the gay away” and anyone with a lick of common sense knows that ain’t so. Nor do I know what impulses he does or does not harbor.

But in all fairness, the guy seems to have been referring to children in general when he used the term “barbarian,” perhaps not the wisest word choice. And to gay as just another trait you need to beat out of the little beasts before it takes hold.

Some of those mocking Marcus probably have had the “looks like” card played against them, however, and should know better than to use it themselves. Teaching kids not to judge their peers by what they may appear to be is part of current anti-bullying strategy.

So it’s really not at all useful when those who have been bullied become, in a way, bullies themselves.

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Something else to worry about: I’ve been readling a little lately about the effects of earlier climate change on the tribal movements of America’s indigenous people. Let’s just make sure, if we allow Rick Perry to campaign here, that it isn’t a subversive strategy to pave the way for mass movement of that Texas tribe into the Midwest in search of humidity. I’m not suggesting it’s time to build a fence along Oklahoma’s south border, but you can never be too careful.