Thursday, December 03, 2009

Meditation upon setting forth to buy a desk

Several of us our setting forth after lunch to buy a new desk for the church office, which called to to mind the question, "How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?" Here are a few of the answers, arranged by number. We're about to find out which, if any, apply:

What? Change the light bulb? My grandmother donated that light bulb!

What? A new light bulb? What’s wrong with the old one?

What? A new light bulb? Remember the light bulb we used to have? Can’t we get that one back?

What? Episcopalians use candles. Always have. Always will. Since when do we need light bulbs?

What? If God had intended Episcopalians to use light bulbs, He would not have created the sun and the moon.

None. Darkness is in the nature of the bulb. It would be harmful and disrespectful to violate its nature and natural dignity.

One, providing the light bulb wants to change.

Two. One to pour the sherry and one to call the electrician.

Three. One to change the bulb. two to form a committee to select a proper memorial to commemorate the old bulb.

Four. One to change the bulb, one to bless the elements, one to mix the martinis and one to compose a toast to the old light bulb.

Five. One to change it; four to discuss how much better they liked the old one.

Six: One to clear it with the vestry, two to debate Rite I (incandescent) vs. Rite II (fluorescent), two to notify all communicants of the proposed change, one to call the electrician.

The entire congregation: One to clear it with the rector, one to clear it with the vestry, one to clear it with the bishop, two to select a bulb in harmony with the architectural integrity of the building, three to debate whether the cost should be covered by the memorial or capital improvement fund, four to select and call a contractor, the remainder to discuss how much more aesthetically satisfying the light cast by the old bulb was.

1 comment:

hugh w said...

once lived in a community where Methodists and the Lutherans bought new organs, Methodist took years to pay it off, the Lutherans in an afternoon, Hugh, watervliet, ny